Probashi Bangali

“Probasi Bangali”…or. .. A term which has recently been incarnated in neon and glows, as it has become one of the finest ingredients of self marketing strategies…. Staying few grass fields away from Bengal may be in Jharkhand, Orissa, Assam or thousands of miles away in New York, London and Berlin comes under the same flavor of probasis…..

• One will be amazed to see that these so called the society cream (how come? If they are not attached to the society at all) putting up funds and associations to reassess their attachments in a glamorous way…. How artificial can one be???
• They would say they miss the parar more cha adda (local tea cafes), whereas these days a lot of youth doesn’t actually brush the caffeine turf moreover they might not know the taste even……
• Just as they move away from Bengal, suddenly the Kolkata streets becomes crowdy and full of chaos and somehow Bengal doesn’t know how to handle traffic even if they are living in as busy cities like Delhi, Mumbai or Bangalore where office time vehicles find it hard to move an inch…..
• I was wondering that in the city they lived for some 30 years has suddenly been clutched with the worst weather and becomes impossible to survive without an AC (just in case if they plan a trip back)…..
• And you will notice a common term while conversing with them “your city….. my city” even if they might have just landed for a day or two in foreign or even planning to relocate….
• They would claim that they are advance as they can hear all Bengali songs in CDs and DVDs whereas all of them are more or less manufactured and marketed here itself or even bought out here (Advancement huh!!!) and also organizing Biswa Banga Sangeet Sammelan I never came around to understand as to why they need to organize such music festivals and manifest they love for Bengali music and how they miss it… Since when reading ebooks over black and white letter imprinted on fibres from woodpulp accounted for advancement……..
• They would invariably miss fish even if they don’t know the names and how does it taste…
• You would come across quite a few probashis who would talk about Tagore, Bamkim, Tarashankar….. Without knowing what they actually say as they find it hard to read a single line in Bengali….
• And of course you can easily spot them in the high priced restaurants offering Bengali cuisine… without the basic ingredients and taste missing (mind it…. The names of dishes are maintained with high values)……
• And of course you will surely find a huge number of Bengali’s changing their names to adjust to the foreign standards( Madhusudan Nandy changed to Mod Nandi) for easy pronouncing……
• I came across one such probashi who doesn’t like to eat dishes which are dark in colour…. With all my potential used I failed to make him understand that eating bright coloured dishes will not make his skin fairer as he is very hard to spot where there is no sun…..

They still complain about the shortcomings of Bengal without actually giving a thought for a solution…. What is use of teaching them culture and values with such high cost when they are to serve some other country, buy cars, flats and complain about Bengal being backward….. Hypocrisy has sneaked into them to such extent that some of them even finds it livelier to deny their roots and likes to call themselves as NRI ‘s rather Indian….. I wonder where would any of these land up finally???

Indian Railways At Your Service

History shows that Trains started with those healthy horses pulling railed wagons charming it’s way through the streets…. But the gradual transformation and amendments has paved it’s way from Polish steam engines to British 153 class DMU … from Chicago SP freight to German class 423 EMU sets…….. from V43 Hungarian locomotives to Japanese high speed Shinkansen 500 series and finally banking on Monorails….. But amidst all odds Indian Railways had it’s own ethnicity ….. A charm which reminds me of 16th century swashbucklers fighting every prejudice and creating a pride for themselves …… Indian Railways boasts for it’s second largest connectivity in the world…. And sometimes it is said that the present tracks if put back to back, will revolve the Earth twice……
Let me share some of my travelling experiences and tricks I learnt for Indian Railways…….
· No matter when you try to get a ticket, you would invariably find yourself in the waiting list category…. Guess your hard luck or you are always too late to decide for the trip
· Just in case if one do wish to travel in General compartment do not worry ….. it’s served free… you will hardly ever find a checker up there…specially if it’s superfast
· Waiting list ticket??? Indian Railways’ black coats at your service… cost may vary from Rs 200 - Rs 250 for a berth … depending upon your bargaining skills
· Waiting list ticket??? Couldn’t manage the checker??? You might get RPF do the work for you with the bribe ranging Rs 250 – Rs 300… rates might sometimes go down…bargain buddy…..
· Finally if nothing works try out the handicapped compartment with a cash of Rs 300
· Wanna smoke??? Problems with RPF and TTI ….bathrooms at your service… or sometimes people like to smoke standing just below no smoking board…. Bravo Bravehearts …
· Getting bored in general compartment??? Ask for 29…. Sure you gonna get enough players to even stand and play… no matter what the situation, or position is ….always up for 29
· Wanna seat in general compartment??? Pay the coolie Rs 15 - Rs 20 for the wood and Rs 25- 30 for the bunks…. Great sleep …ahhhhh!!!
· Don’t wanna spend extra cash… carry newspaper and find yourself the compartment with some extra space between berths and bathrooms…
· “Hijre”…. beware!!! Be stubborn n arrogant… but don’t shell out a penny on them…. No matter what the pestering is…. One needs to persist
· Oh!! You can always find women washing utensils and men carrying bathing accessories … as if they are in home… what a home at a rent of mere 250 bucks
· And children …. Their allowance is unlimited… they can go anywhere wearing the shoe..even in bed… and of course use the whole train as bathroom…. Anywhere and everywhere….
But in spite of everything railways still remains one of the major transportations in India and the cheapest ………………..

Bollywood et al

The eccentricity of Bollywood films is one of the most talked about paradigm in Indian cinema, with it’s elaborate song and dance routines………… Yet propelling ambiguity…….. Well, its thrust on world cinema had quite an effective blossom…. It can be considered as the true reflection of Persistence of vision and not to mention Beta movement and Phi Phenomenon… There are quite a few reasons behind why these movies should be considered important………..

• The skimpily dressed heroine dancing in the rain….and then falls in love with the hero…..suddenly becomes fully clad …….a rape attempt follows……….hero comes to rescue beating up 15 odd rapists all by himself (all breaking knifes and swords not to mention car windows and boxes in a smuggled goods’ godown……and whatever that crosses his path) lends his jacket to cover the already covered body after being rescued….and then the heroine comes to return his jacket and they fall in love…..what a fallacy!!!!
• I also wonder why it rains every time they start singing and dancing around the trees……if it’s a Yash Chopra or a Karan Johar movie the rain is replaced by snowfall in Switzerland…..!!!!
• Also One of their greatest achievements would be dancing in the middle of trafficking road under the scorching heat in summers………. Weird fantasy!!!!!
• Costumes ….. Aha……. Wearing red mini skirts and purple Brassiere …… ideal for their boogie in the wintry snow…. And of course wearing black Mask of Zorro costume in the desert cannot be ignored…are they really made up of flesh and blood???
• Songs……..For all occasions….to express their heart felt sorrow for the dying hero’s mum or heroine’s pa…...to celebrate the heroine’s first pregnancy….all to mourn your life when heroine ditches the poor hero and marries a rich man…….not to mention she keeps loving the hero all her life and eventually helped by her husband to get back to her Ex-Flame…..sometimes it may also happen that she might fall in love with her rich husband too(aka aishwarya rai in hum dil de chuke sanam) And of course no matter when n where they sing, musicians and team of dancers are always ready to increase the effects (whether in the village or city, may it be on top of the mountain or in the middle of the sea)
• Double Role………. Even if the hero dies …don’t get depressed ….there always remains a chance of his existence though with a different identity but with same physique and face…… PS: they might not posses any blood relation.
• Villains…. They ought to have good brain, brawn, wealth, power and everything that is socially disgraceful…. But heroes always have super powers in their possession… they can alone finish up the whole gang with style… and up to six-seven bullets can always be considered…….somehow villains are very bad with their aim…even with truck full of ammo they fail to finish a job for which our hero needs just one
• The film must contain a love affair with either of the pair should be filthy rich and the other “begging” poor…same standards not accepted…..
• Love making scenes …………. If you find two flowers moving or ceiling fan revolving just after a hugging scene…exercise your imagination…..P.S. things are different in a film starring Mallika Sherawat.

Bollywood films featuring romantic musicals that were highly melodramatic about wealth, beauty and glamour, which now have become a staple in the genre. Stereotypes of popular cinema, addressing poverty and adversity, instead of the fairytale story lines is quite popular among the educated elite, as the masses who had been brought up on the diet of happy, unrealistic films found them unappealing. Whether or not you enjoy these fantastic films, it's important to recognize the substantial presence of Bollywood in the modern film industry. OH HELL!!!!